Unfulfilled promises
by stellarlies
Summary: Hide missed his friend, more than anything in this world. And he was commited heart and soul to find him. By the mean time, let's get him a present. -Based of Chapters 108 and 109 of manga. Hidekane.


This was a very dear fic I did in the horrible days after the end of tg root a, it was on ao3. I decided to post it here. English is not my first language, so easy on that. :D I hope you can enjoy the reading! :D

 **Disclaimer** : Do you believe I wouldn't make Hide and Kaneki dry-hoping the fuck out in the end of tg root a if this thing belonged to me? All to Ishida and shitty Pierrot.

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-.-

Hide got off his bike with a big smile, which didn't quite reach his eyes. It was something uncommon for the boy, but there was really no need to blame him for his mood. He was smiling because he was going to that signature event, maybe he could see Kaneki... even if he didn't, then he could at least get a present for him. And it would be a good present! But... nothing told him that he was going to see his friend again.

He missed his friend. He missed Kaneki. Kaneki was his everything, Kaneki was his dearest friend and he felt so lonely without him, and he felt so incompetent because maybe Kaneki was feeling lonely too without him and he wasn't _there_ for him. He missed Kaneki's eyes, so full of feelings. He missed Kaneki's voice, that got so excited when he was talking about books that most of the time Hide couldn't understand, but that make Kaneki so happy that it didn't matter if he couldn't grasp the subject.

Sometimes he blamed himself for everything. If he had said something, if he had told him that he knew... "I know you are a ghoul man, I'm here for you!" But no amount of grieve could change the past. He knew that. He just hoped to have a chance to talk with him again. He needed to talk with him. To see him, to touch him, to hug him, to confess him...

"She was really nice, wasn't she?"

"Yes, but she was far from what I imagined".

Kaneki wanted to get back as soon as possible. Yes, this was his idea, and he was having fun with Hinami, and it was something good to clear his mind... But he didn't actually enjoy being outside that much, unless it was with Hide. Noise wasn't really his thing, but Hide loved to hang out in loud places, and he was happy to be with him.

 _Hide…_

Kaneki missed him. Oh boy, how he missed him. But he couldn't dare to harm him, not Hide, not him, not the only support he ever had in life, and that's why he was doing that. _For him_. He should have answered that text, he knew he should, he should have called him, text him, anything, and tell him he was ok, but a part of him felt that he wouldn't be able to hold himself back. One phone call wouldn't be enough, the next step would be visiting Hide, because he needed to see him, he needed to hear his voice again... He needed to keep himself as far away as possible from him, that was the only way to protect him. He convinced himself that it was the only way to keep him safe, but a part of him… A part of him wanted to just be with Hide, to succumb into the other's arms and sink his head on the other one's neck.

"Kaneki…"

 _That voice_. He looked at the person in front of him, that bright smile, those gentle eyes, that blond as the sun hair… His best friend was right in front of him, with a really shocked expression, but in the good sense.

"Hide…"

Kaneki wanted to hide, wanted to run. No, he couldn't be this close of Hide. His life was too dangerous… him… His mind was turning into a mess, he was drowning in thoughts, bad thoughts. Rize was there, tangling with his mind, seducing him. Telling him Hide would be destroyed by his fault, telling him he should destroy Hide before any other would. No, _it was wrong_. Kaneki tried to push her out of his mind with all his force, till he felt two arms close around him. Rize went away by herself.

"Kaneki, you idiot! Where have you been?" Hide tightened the hug and said: "You've made me worry a lot! What's been with you?" Kaneki could feel some tears through his shirt, Hide was crying, Hide was suffering, Hide was suffering for _his_ fault, and that made his eyes get teary.

"Big brother… who is him?" Hinami didn't want to interrupt what it looked like a really important reunion, but she was so confused. He released Kaneki's hand of her hold, and Kaneki's hands twitched. She didn't remember this guy, but it looked like he was very important to Kaneki.

"Ahh! Hide is… Hide is my best friend. Hide, she is Hinami" Kaneki said trying to get out of the embrace. Hide was reluctant to do that, but he realized he had to let Kaneki go, so he released him.

Trying to clean his tears with discretion, but not succeeding, his next step was to give that girl the biggest and prettiest smile he could lend her. Which made the girl blush.

Kaneki cleaned his eyes and looked at the two people making small talk; his lips twitched into a kind smile. His eyes looked tenderly to Hide, he loved him so much. And that thought sank on his mind. _This isn't ok, I have to go, I have to get Hide away from me_. Every second Hide was around him, Hide was in danger.

"Hide, I'm sorry but we…"

"Could you just… Can we talk? Just a minute, Kaneki, please."

Kaneki didn't really want to talk to Hide, he didn't wanted to put him in danger. But it was Hide. God, it was Hide, his best friend, he could have a little talk with the young man, the person whom he had missed the most these past six months. Hide smile didn't help, Hide by _itself_ didn't help and Kaneki couldn't do any other thing that say yes.

He gave Hinami some money and commanded her to a store, for some reason he needed this reunion to be private, although Hide said it was ok if the girl stayed. Hinami looked at him with confusion, she didn't want to leave her big brother, but she understood Kaneki's desires and went to a nearby store.

"Black, please".

They were drinking coffee, at the first place they saw, in a secluded space of the coffee shop. Hide didn't want to have a coffee, not black at least, but he ended up asking for black coffee, because of Kaneki. The trip to there was quiet, and a little uncomfortable. Hide didn't try to talk, and Kaneki wasn't that much of a talker either. He realized Hide was the one who initiated the conversations most of the time. They passed in front of the event that was taking place there. Hide bit his lips, he couldn't get an autograph for Kaneki, though he probably got one by himself. He was a little bit hurt over the fact that Kaneki had come there without him, but maybe he did lose his phone after all. Takatsuki Sen watched them through the glass with an amused expression, that white-haired boy wasn't with the little girl anymore, and that was interesting.

"You really don't like black coffee, why did you ask for it?"

Hide didn't know how to answer to that. It was the moment, he should say something, _I know you are a ghoul_ , _I know you are a freaking ghoul and I'm ok with it, damn i_ t. But he couldn't bring the words to his mouth, how he would say that, when it was going to be the time he would see Kaneki again, he shouldn't be wasting his time being quiet, nor in a conversation that would probably make Kaneki go mad, because he really didn't want Kaneki to go away. So he only looked at another direction, smiled, and looked right through Kaneki's eyes.

"Well, it's been six months… I got used to black coffee, people can change, Kaneki".

It was a playful comment, made to break the ice. Kaneki laughed. Although he felt hurt by this, because, of course, he hadn't been there those six months, how he would know? He couldn't know. His chest hurt, but seeing Hide's beautiful face while his eyes were closed with a smile was one of the best feelings he have had recently.

"You know, Kaneki… I've missed you so much. I want to ask you so many things… where have you been? Why did you leave college?!... But I suppose that if you don't feel… comfortable with it, it's ok. I'm just… I'm just so happy that I could see you again, you know?"

"Yeah… I get you Hide, I… I also missed you… You have no idea how much…" Kaneki said while his face twitched in pain. Hide just placed his hand in the half-ghoul's shoulder, to support him. Kaneki could felt his best friend's hand, rubbing, caring for him, just his presence being with him… it was too much. The next thing he knew was that Hide had moved his chair to be right next to him, and he had his face in Hide's neck. No tears, there were no tears this time, but his crushed heart was enough to tear Hide's down.

"I'm sorry Hide, I'm so sorry, I'm, I…"

"You don't have to worry for that, Kaneki!" Hide said while kissing his forehead. He gently cupped Kaneki's cheeks between his hands and gave him a peck in his lips.

Hide tried to hold still, but he felt his heart trying to leave his chest, so fast it was beating. He kissed him out of impulse, and then he didn't know what to do.

Kaneki's cheeks painted in pink. _Hide kissed me, this shouldn't feel so good_... His heart was also beating really hard against his ribcage. He enjoyed the kiss. He wanted more. He didn't care if his presence was wrong for Hide, the fact they shouldn't do this, none of that mattered, he needed to kiss Hide again. He held Hide's wrist and he leaned to kiss his friend again.

A moan of pure pleasure escaped from both of their mouths. It was a soft kiss, really soft, exploratory. They were founding out what the other's lips tasted like. The result was everything but unpleasant. Kaneki threw his arms on Hide's neck and Hide's hands were on his back. The embrace was delightful, the kiss was getting deeper, more passionate. Hide played with Kaneki's bottom lip, biting it, and Kaneki did the same with the upper lip, resulting in both giggling into the other's mouth.

The kiss didn't stop. Hide's hand was massaging the white-haired boy's back, travelling all over it, caressing his waist from time to time. Hide is so good at kissing, _how he became so good at kissing?_ He probably had kissed tons of girls before him. That thought sent anger through his veins, and he released his tongue to make his place at the other's mouth, to conquer it. He was going to delete any evidence of some idiot girl in Hide, Hide was his. He grasped his hair and it was such a good feel because his hair was now longer, and got deeper into his mouth.

Much to their dismay, they were in a public place. They could feel the piercing eyes of the costumers on them, they were probably uncomfortable. Hide was the one who stopped the kiss, even if Kaneki was reluctant to let go.

The ccg's worker took Kaneki off himself and sat accordingly on the chair. Everyone seemed to be more relaxed at the end of the kiss, but they were still glaring at them. Kaneki realized what had just happened and his blush got deeper.

"You look so cute," Hide said while cupping again the other's cheeks in his hands and caressing them.

Kaneki held a laugh. He was not cute, he was everything but cute lately, but Hide did look cute, Hide also had an adorable blush on his cheeks, Hide had that tender loving gaze that could just melt his heart and he was not in the mood to contradict him. The embarrassment of being this cheesy in public was melting away just because of Hide's presence. He could keep kissing him all day if that was possible, in front of all these people, he couldn't care less…

He held on his wrist again, but this time to take him away of him. "Hide… I… I have to go" Kaneki kissed him again, and rose from the chair.

"Kaneki, you don't get it, I have to tell you something…"

"It's ok, Hide. I'm… I'm ok. I'm in some troubles, but I'll work them out, I just… I just want you to be ok… I love you."

"I also love you! And I'm ok! You can't…"

"Just… wait a little, Hide. I'll come back soon. I promise. I have things to do, I have… troubles to fix. But… I'll come back home, just wait for me." Kaneki kissed him one more time, a really bittersweet kiss, that tasted like tears and pain, before leaving the coffee shop right away.

"You don't have to go, Kaneki, I…" But those words went unnoticed, because the half-ghoul had already left.

He had missed a chance. He had missed a chance. He ran through the door, he searched for him the whole building, but he couldn't find him. He couldn't find him anywhere. _Fuck it, Kaneki, why…_

He knelt on the floor and hid his face on his hands.

Wait for him to come back?

No, no way, especially now knowing his feelings were returned. He was not going to wait for him. He was not going to wait for that idiot who thought he could make everything on hid own. He was going to keep searching for him, he was going to find him, he was not going to waste any other chance because of his hormones, and he was going to make his best friend come back to fucking home. That was a promise.

-.-


End file.
